TIME TO MAKE THE DONUTS. or NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO BE THE SAME, EVER.

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to make donuts and he eats for a lifetime. Or something like that. All proverbs aside, this morning gave witness to a momentous occasion: Papa learned to make donuts his damn-self. The implications are unfathomable. If, in the future you notice that everyone around me is fat and happy, there is good reason. And that reason is donuts.

I have long been a fan, no, an aficionado of the humble donut, and for the first time, donuts have come into existence in my kitchen. The seed as planted when by some strange coincidence, an issue of Better Homes and Gardens which prominently features home-made pumpkin donuts was left laying casually on the coffee table. Moments later the boy shredded and devoured most of the magazine, but it was too late, the idea had taken root.

Off to the internets! I was into the donut idea, but the thought of deep-frying in the skillet first thing in the morning made me a little afraid, so I opted for a baked cake style donut. Maybe a little sissified for you purists, I know, but give a Papa a break, eh? I found a recipe that didn’t require a trip to the store, since I had leftover pumpkin puree from a stuffed shells recipe (Thanks Jody!) and in no time I was a pre-heating, egg beating, glaze-drizzlin’ fool. The end result was DONUTS! Real donuts. That I made. I was overjoyed.

The ‘nuts were very well received, though I think I baked them a little too long, causing them to crack and dry out a bit. This was solved by simply using more glaze. And more, and more and more.

Aside from having one flat side from baking on a regular cookie sheet, these donuts were fantastic, easy to make, and may have inspired a new, fatter lifestyle. Or at least a hobby.

Papa’s (ok, not really, this one was lifted right from an internet recipe) Bad-Ass Baked Punkin’ Donuts

DONUTS

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp cloves

1/4 tsp ginger

1/4 tsp nutmeg ( I think you can buy “Pumpkin Pie Spice” that has all of these spices together already, but I don’t have any, and didn’t want to go out in my PJs anyway.)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 cup pureed pumpkin (you could use canned, but nobody will like you anymore, plus there’s a shortage on.)

2 eggs

1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup butter, softened just enough to make it mix up easily

Icing

1 cup powdered sugar, sifted, you will probably need to add a little more to the mix to get a nice glaze consistency

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

4 -5 teaspoons milk

Make the Donuts!!

Stir up the dry ingredients well in the electric mixer bowl (if you have one.)

Add pumpkin, eggs, milk, and butter, or margarine; beat with the electric mixer on low speed till dough is pretty smooth.

Put the mixture in a quart size freezer bag and cut the tip off of one of the bottom corners to use as a pastry bag that you don’t have to wash, or use a pastry bag with a big round tip.

Pipe onto baking sheets, in appx. 3-inch loops. I covered them with parchment paper first, but you could also just grease them.

Bake in a preheated 375 degrees F oven for about 10 minutes, watch for them to brown, but not crack, or they will dry out fast.

Cool doughnuts on a rack. Salivate. Your whole house now smells like angels having sex with the great pumpkin in the alley behind a bakery.

Make the Icing!!

In a small mixing bowl stir together powdered sugar and vanilla.

Stir in enough milk to make a smooth icing of glazing consistency.

Place rack with donuts over waxed paper.

Brush icing over donuts with pastry brush, or spoon over surface. I gave ‘em several coats, and later flipped them over and glazed the other side too. Healthy!

EAT.

THE.

DONUTS.